A way to a more peaceful parenting may surprise some to find children do not need rules to be caring, helpful individuals. Learning to raise your children without authority and rules does not mean you will have wild unruly children. Treating your children with the same respect as you would want for yourself or as you treat your partner means that you can enjoy peaceful parenting and celebrate in your children for who they are. Your children are amazing unique individuals that do not have to be molded into the idea we have in mind for them.
Children have amazing abilities that we do not give them credit for when it comes to making decisions that are right for them. They do not need strict rules, or severe discipline to be forced into correct behavior. If we live by our principles, modeling the behavior we desire, it is a child's natural instinct to imitate what they observe.
Peaceful Parenting does not mean a child NEVER hears the word no, yet if what they are asking for are within our means and will not hurt anyone, then why shouldn't they be able to have it. This will not create a spoiled child but rather it keeps a world of possibilities open to them with a security of abundance rather than a feeling of lack. If we give to our children what is well within our means to do so, then why shouldn't the child hear the word yes, rather than a quick habitual no?
Celebrating who your child is as the amazing individual that they are, rather than seeing all the "wrong" in them because they do not fit our ideals is what unconditional love is all about. This does not need correction; it needs a nurturing attitude so they can bloom into the person they are trying to be. They should not have to fill the ideal mold of our expectations for them; our expectations may not even be close to who they are trying to be. By supporting their needs, we are helping them follow the path of their design.
If we are caring, nurturing parents that give our children the same respect as we would another adult, our children will be caring nurturing beings. If we ask for help or accept it gratefully when offered, our children will naturally be helpful without having to have strict chore charts to follow. Of course this does work better if they have been encouraged to help since they learned to walk, yet I believe if it is modeled, it can be done no matter what age the child is.
If we stay involved with our children, supporting their interests, our children will want to be involved with us. Peaceful Parenting goes a long way of being joyful parents, who does things for our families because we want to, with no resentments. A child who truly asks to help you, does so out of a desire to ease your burdens and does it with joy, not because they are being forced to do so. They genuinely want to help out of love and respect and because it feels good to do so. That sure beats a battling every step of the way until it is done attitude.
Children do not need our expectations of who WE want them to be placed upon their shoulders; perhaps this is why we have so many unhappy adults later in life. They do not need "Discipline" and rules. If we know the things we value in life and live by those principles, our children will notice because we model it and they themselves will act according to the behaviors they witness every day. Children need our support, our love, our respect and a decent role model which comes from living within our principles we believe in.
There is no conflict or reason to lie if you do not have rules to break and live by honesty, knowing you will receive understanding and not discipline. Children are naturally good, not evil and a more gentle approach is not only possible but a wonderful way to build a close, cooperative, helpful and supportive family that laughs together and respects each other.
